Tutoyons !

Tutoyons ! It's a southern thing!**

French has a "formal you" (vous) and an "informal you" (tu). Every rulebook says that the French only use tu with their families and their one or two very best, life-long friends. It can be insulting to use the wrong form, and stories abound about people doing verbal gymnastics to avoid the choice and possibly giving offence. At some point, we're told, someone we've become close to will ask to use the informal tu - "nous tutoyons ?" or even "Tutoyons !"

Somewhat relevant sign from the Internet

So, I was very surprised when both on my hikes and at my "welcome" club events, everyone used tu! Even with me! Even before knowing my name! Well, no, I wasn't insulted, but very curious. And a tiny bit anxious that I was insulting them by still using vous... :-\

I was just on the verge of asking my new best friends if this was particular to Sète, when I also noticed that my Montpellier hostess tu'd me as well! So, I asked her, using my best I-don't-mean-to-offend English, is tu'ing a southern thing? Yes, it is!** She explained that the closer you are to Paris, the more rigid (she said cold) communication rules are. "Tu" is just faster and easier. She uses it with all her colleagues at work (nurses, doctors, receptionists, etc). Staff members and the boss use vous, and all staff use vous with patients and clients. But tu/vous use changes under different circumstances. She felt that using vous with patients imparted a sense of confidence, and so made them less anxious. In fact, she was shocked when a friend came to the hospital as a patient, and she heard her colleagues tu'ing him (even though at home they would tu, as a patient, they should vous).

She of course knew that English*** doesn't have different "you" forms, but she still wondered if, when speaking to others, did I think in terms of formal or informal "you." My immediate response was no, because there's no such animal. But certainly we do have more and less formal situations, so...

~~~
The verb tutoyer = to speak in the "informal you," and "Tutoyons !" is "Let's use tu!"
And no, it's not automatic for me to use tu instead of vous when someone I'm talking to uses tu. I have some practicing to do...

~~~ Updated ~~~

** Nope, not just in the South! I took an informal poll (very informal), and people from all over France (at least as far as I could tell; possibly not in the East, possibly not in Paris) follow similar "rules" - when in doubt, use vous; use tu with colleagues, same age groups, neighbors, club members; use vous with authority figures and other situations where showing respect is important (certainly where it's more than being friendly).
Interestingly, more than one person was told that is was a southern thing (by a Southerner!).

*** American English, that is - I can't count any "thee" or "thou" you might encounter in Yorkshire (thank you, Mr. Smith), or the King James bible, or in a Quaker community...

The DELF

The DELF is an official test of your level of capability in the French language. If you pass, it is good for a lifetime (most or all others expire after a few years). This "diploma" is particularly handy for things like long-term French residency and citizenship.

I just finished my exams...

~~~ Registering ~~~
Just trying to get registered for the DELF had its ups and downs. First, from all my classes outside of France, I had seen that the official test centers were always at the Alliance française. In France, this is not the case! So, a relatively quick search showed that GRETA in Montpellier had several exam dates coming up. The website was very definitive in saying that the registration deadline must be observed - sign up by then, or you miss out! BUT! Nowhere did it actually tell you what those dates were!* So, I picked the October 19 test date, wired the money, and mailed my filled-out form on August 16 - two months should be plenty of time, right?

Well, a month later, I hadn't heard anything. So I called, hoping to find out what happened - did I miss the deadline after all? Did they receive my form? Well, I'm embarrassed to say that I had forgotten to include a copy of my ID :-\ The good news is that (1) they understood me (2) they had my form (3) they sent an email that said to send my ID copy ASAP. As soon as I saw that, I faxed my passport, and sent a reply asking for them to let me know that my ID was received. LOL - that's soooo American... A week later, I called back - yes, they had my ID, and if everything else was there, then I would be registered. Whew! But, I still had some anxiety - what if...

Then, September 26, I got an email - good news this time! I was registered! I confirmed my information and saw that my test was split over two days - my individual part of the test, oral expression, was October 18, and the rest was October 19. A few days later, a hardcopy came in the mail.

* (Update) It turned out that they just weren't quite ready for the new school year when I looked for this information. Some time later, they updated the link to the calendar, and the new PDF showed all the registration (and results) dates :-\  I was just a few days too early...

~~~ Getting ready ~~~
Well, aside from the classes I had already had, I was tempted to take a class specifically to prep for the DELF. But the nearest one was in Montpellier, and it was every day for a month. So, I got a workbook, and started studying - this was actually very hard for me; I am much more motivated in a classroom situation. But (or perhaps I should say "and") I had 3 months to get through it. One other very fortuitous thing happened - on my first hike with my club, I mentioned that I had this test coming up, and a perfectly lovely woman, whom I had just met that day, offered to help me! She came to our apartment several times and we worked through the section on oral expression! She not only corrected my French, but also gave me more elegant options, and a lot more confidence!

~~~ Getting there ~~~
So, the test center is quite a trip! To get there, I had to take a bus, then train, then tram, and finally, walk. Schedules don't align, and public transportation is often late, so each leg had to have a cushion. Thinking to reduce stress, I bought my train tickets for both days well in advance. What a mistake! Less than a week before my test, the powers that be announced a strike =-O I would be able to get there on Wednesday, but I risked missing Thursday's test entirely! A quick change of plan - I ended up getting an AirBnB room for Wednesday and Thursday, and coming home after the strike. Basically, that just left the hard part - finding the right building! I ended up walking halfway around the giant block, and asking for directions twice before I found the test center. I am very glad I had the time to do some reconnaissance...

~~~ The Test! ~~~
My convocation said to be at the testing center half an hour before the start in order to sign in. It turned out that this didn't really apply to the individual test. I checked, and was told to wait until just before my test time - well, then the test mistress called my name, and in I went! This rule certainly applied to the group test.

The procedure for both days were the same: turn off your phone, give it, your convocation, and ID to the test mistress, and place all other belongings against the wall. She checks your ID. You take just your pen (and optional pencils), and find your assigned table (I didn't notice at first that they were assigned; I looked down at the table I had picked, and saw someone else's name). You get a piece of scratch paper and the test - the top sheet has instructions and you fill in your name and registration number from your convocation. Your written answers have to be in black pen. I was a little surprised by this; I thought surely we could use pencil, at least for the written expression! The test mistress warned us several times that even a suspicion of cheating would bar you from taking any DELF exam for 5 years - make sure to keep your eyes firmly in front, on your own test. We were also warned that we couldn't leave until we were done (well, you could, but then you couldn't come back in). When you finished, you turned in your test and the scratch paper, and collected your things. In the group test, we got a 15 minute warning before time was up.

The tests all went exactly as the book described. For oral expression, you choose one from two randomly selected topics, spend 10 minutes preparing, and then interact with your testers for 15 minutes on this and two other topics. For the group test, at 10:00 on the dot, the test mistress started the tape player (it was plenty loud, unlike exercises in many of my classes), and we opened our tests. The tape had timed pauses (just like my practice test), so we had exactly that much time to read the questions and to write our answers. After that (oral comprehension), we went on to written comprehension, then written expression. The nice thing about this group portion of the test is that all three tests were in the same packet - if you finished one part early, you could go right on to the next. If you finished the entire thing before the  hour and 45 minutes allotted, you could leave early. Or, do what I did, which was to re-check my entire test. You don't get a choice of topic for the written expression (Somehow, I had expected a choice between two). I don't know if everyone had the same topic or not - I certainly wasn't going to peek to find out!

A few people left early, but most of us (there were about 25) stayed till the bitter end. One fellow asked when we would know our results (Another thing my American mind was surprised that they didn't automatically tell us) - it will take about 3 weeks... I got back to my temporary digs, and had a nice glass of wine with my lunch :-) My post-test jitters lasted well into the next day - I rehashed everything, counting up in my head all the obvious-after-the-fact mistakes I had made, and knowing there were plenty more besides.

~~~ The Results ~~~
I'm writing this before I know my results. There is a very real chance that I will not pass (this time). I have always had a hard time knowing just how the French grade tests; something that is important to me often seems to be of no account, and vice-versa.

It's easy enough to say amongst friends that (1) I am pushing it a bit to test at this level, (2) I can always take it again, (3) I don't really have to have this diploma; I can handle the language aspect of renewing my residency via a lower-level test at the time, and after the age of 60, you don't have to prove any particular level of French for residency.

On the other hand, I want to pass!

In fact, I'm hesitant to post this as is; should I wait for my results? If I don't pass, will I really want to post it at all? Bleh!

I guess I'm pushing the button...

~~~~ UPDATE ~~~~
I PASSED!!! 
http://slowtravelin.blogspot.fr/2017/11/delf-results.html

The Welcoming Party!

Our "Welcome to Sète" continued last night with a party! Unbelievable, but yes, there were 360 of us new Sétois! It all started* at 7 pm at the Théâtre de la Mer - we all shuffled in, had our names checked off (or added, in our case ;-) ), and then... Everyone (I mean everyone!) looked at the tables scattered around the area, and thought (yes, I'm a mind reader, so I know this is true), "hmm, I really want a glass of that wine, but I wonder if we're supposed to wait?"

Finally, I said to myself, "I'll offer to get someone else a glass, and then see what happens" - well, of course you know! Not two seconds after I poured a glass, half a dozen people swarmed the table and poured for themselves too! (Yes, I smiled)

Well, besides drinks, this is the lovely "brasucade-sardinade" that awaited us!

Yes, it's a giant barbecue! "Brasucade" is a term specific to our region, and comes from the occitan language - it refers to either the wood fire that you grill things over, or the party with that theme :-) . A "sardinade" is when you grill sardines!

Well, while we waited for the fire to burn down to cooking coals, we listened to music and ate paté. And, actually started to meet people!

Everyone watched the first several batches of mussels cooking - the scent was unbelievably yummy!

After many, many cycles of mussels, they started grilling the sardines - and I finally saw first hand how to eat these tiny fish! (They weren't gutted, which surprised the heck out of me) You simply put part of in your mouth, and scrape off the meat with your teeth - any bones hard enough stay with the fish; the rest, you just eat! The "insides" are cooked down to nothing - they're either left behind with the head and spine, or eaten un-noticed...

We slowed down our mad scramble for grilled goodies, then came the cheese! Our group had a great table, and an in with the grillers - it was funny to notice that our little corner was quite well stocked... Even when the dessert came, we had *all* the options (and still plenty of wine).

Eventually, things wound down, and the tablecloths were magically rolled up - it was time to go. We traded contact info with our new neighbors, and headed out for our long walk home.

After a full night of standing (6:30-10:30), followed by 40 minutes of walking, I was simply exhausted all day today! But really very happy :-)

~~~
* actually, it started much earlier, as Sunday buses are infrequent - we left our apartment a smidgeon after 6...